Today is a bad day, a very bad day.
I feel so......
Empty.
Unimportant.
Upset.


I need a hug, a long warm hug.
From him of course.
I desperately need it.

But where is he?
I guess he's busy.
All I know is, I miss him a little too much today and I really need him to be here right now.

I want a hug from my buddies.
From Gigi.
From Weeleng and Amanda.
From Dina.
But all are too busy..
Too too busy.

I feel unimportant.
I feel that my existence doesn't seem as important as before to him, to anyone anymore.

I need a hug.
I really need one today to get through the day.
I cried, without even knowing the reason why.
I didn't feel better though.
Haven't eaten a scrap of food since morn.
No appetite.

I'm sick too.
Which makes me feel even worst.

I can't stay this way.
I have to cheer up.
I have to.
O levels are in 2 days time.
I need to buck up, stop thinking of problems, and just focus on my studies.

This is the time, the crucial time.
This is what I have been preparing for for four entire stressful years.
I have to do well.
Make my parents proud.
Make him proud.
Make my friends proud.
And most of all,
Make MYSELF feel proud and worthy of myself.
For once.


If I screw this up,
my future is gone.


I have to...
dash across the finish line in this last lap of the race.
I have to.
I have no choice.


I want to get into Laselle and get that career I want for my future.

I have to do my best.


No more wasting time, Sherena.

Music Playlist at MixPod.com

Ello, the name’s Sherena.
I’m Nineteen this year & am lovin’ it.
I’m a Cancerian.
Imma bookworm.
I close ranks in suspicion & coldness toward outsiders.
That doesn’t mean I’m unsociable, just that for me, there is a time to socialize and a time to be solitary.
I’m appreciative of art and literature, and especially of drama, where the spectacle and ebb and flow of action and feeling particularly excite me.
I have a retentive memory, particularly for emotionally laden events which I can still recall in detail for years afterwards.
I’m too easily influenced by those I love and admire, & can be swayed by the emotion of the moment.

I am never one to patiently pick up
already broken fragments & glue em back together again
& tell myself that everything would be as good as new.
What is broken is broken - and I'd rather remember it
as it was at it's very best than try to mend it
& see the broken pieces as long as I lived.

Love is what all of us are born with.
Fear is what we learn throughout the years.
I believe that the spiritual journey is the unlearning of fear & prejudices
& the acceptance of pure love back in our hearts.
Love is truly the essential reality and our purpose in life.

And to be consciously aware of it,
to really take the risk,
give our all and experience love in ourselves & others,
is the real meaning of life.

Meaning does not lie in things.
Meaning lies in us.