Walking alone, pondering thoughts,
Wanting to smile but holding it in.
When recalling your words to me...
Why won't I smile? why won't I allow it?

One after another they stop and ask
as I am walking along alone,
"Are you ok? You seem different."
I'm fine; another lie, though longing to tell the story.

"Why are your eyes so red, they look bad."
"oh they're always like that , I'm okay."
If they only knew how much i want to cry,
how much I long to laugh.

You're sitting there, i wonder what you think.
Do you hurt as much as me, you hide it well if you do.
The one with the knife sits down between us.
Not close to either, but seems to want to separate us.

It's okay.


I'll continue to walk alone.


-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

One more paper, before O levels finally officially END.
:)
One more to go, Sherena.
Wooohoooo.

Prom is the very next day after our last day.
Thrilled, but troubled as well.

I haven't even found my digital cam yet.
Have not been using it for ages.
Kinda lost it.
Haha.

Went out with Gigi yesterday to watch High School Musical 3.
It was okay.
Alot of nice songs, but not much of a storyline though.

Went out with Amanda today.
Studied and chit chatted.
Went home.

Drifting further and further away from Lukey too.
Maybe it's due to O levels and the lack of time spent together.
Sigh.
Just hope things get better soon.


My post further down is dedicated to all my friends, close or not.
But it focuses on four of you.











I feel distant between my best friends these days.
Two of them.
One is due to a stupid quarrel/misunderstanding.

The other, no reason lol.
Maybe it's cause we don't need to study together anymore.
Maybe it's cause I'm not used to not seeing or talking to you and Amanda every day anymore.
But I know, and hopefully you know,
that our friendship will last long.
And I really want to keep this friendship close to heart, and never distant ourselves away from each other next year.
I really want to.
I don't wanna repeat my mistakes in Primary school.
Laziness had certainly made me lose several buddies during that time.
Lazy to call em out for a meeting and all.
I'm not gonna do the same to you guys this time.
I hope you won't too.
Cos I sincerely cherish my bestfriends, every single one of you.

I hate to quarrel, and have fights with any of you.
I hate it.
Sometimes it's due to my oversensitivity over anything,
but I know all of you can take that, accept me as who I am, and just embrace my differences.
Thank you all.
All of you.
All of you changed me, in a way or another if you didn't realised it.
In a good way of course.

I know my own attitude.
And it isn't perfect.
But I'm trying my best to comprehend your feelings too.
I'm just more sensitive than others.
I get more offended and hurt more easily.
And I'm sorry that I can't change that.

I know all of you read my blog almost every day.
And I just wanna tell all of you,
how much I actually cherish you and love you (as a friend duh)
and you did make a difference in my life.
Sincerely.

I know we have fights, and we don't agree with each other at times,
But hey,
I still love you.
I'm just hurt.

I'm not just referring it to HER, I'm referring this to every one of you.

I realised how fragile life is.
And I don't wanna leave things unspoken.
So that's why I'm writing this, to all of you, when I still have the chance to.
Who knows? Maybe tomorrow on the way to school I'll get knocked down by a truck?
Lol.


Sorry, I just feel really emotional today.
It's my violent ever changing mood swings again I guess.
(:



Well,
I have been talking with some friends that I haven't been talking to for ages.
Like Seemun.
And I enjoyed it gurl.
Thanks.
And I must say, we really click well.
Haha!

See you soon kays? :)




And tags will be replied soon.

Probably tomorrow.

Bye.

Music Playlist at MixPod.com

Ello, the name’s Sherena.
I’m Nineteen this year & am lovin’ it.
I’m a Cancerian.
Imma bookworm.
I close ranks in suspicion & coldness toward outsiders.
That doesn’t mean I’m unsociable, just that for me, there is a time to socialize and a time to be solitary.
I’m appreciative of art and literature, and especially of drama, where the spectacle and ebb and flow of action and feeling particularly excite me.
I have a retentive memory, particularly for emotionally laden events which I can still recall in detail for years afterwards.
I’m too easily influenced by those I love and admire, & can be swayed by the emotion of the moment.

I am never one to patiently pick up
already broken fragments & glue em back together again
& tell myself that everything would be as good as new.
What is broken is broken - and I'd rather remember it
as it was at it's very best than try to mend it
& see the broken pieces as long as I lived.

Love is what all of us are born with.
Fear is what we learn throughout the years.
I believe that the spiritual journey is the unlearning of fear & prejudices
& the acceptance of pure love back in our hearts.
Love is truly the essential reality and our purpose in life.

And to be consciously aware of it,
to really take the risk,
give our all and experience love in ourselves & others,
is the real meaning of life.

Meaning does not lie in things.
Meaning lies in us.